Brothers

I was a real little prick when I was a kid, but my prickishness never excelled so much as when it came to my sister’s boyfriends.  She was five years older than me, still is by my last count.  So her first boyfriends started hanging around when I was around 8.  There was Brian, who I relentlessly rode about his acne.  Mark, who I referred to simply as “The Pollock.”  He once slammed me face first into the bottom of a swimming pool, breaking off one of my front teeth.  I guess he got revenge.  There was Kurt who I actually punched in the face and then to wrap up this little tour, there is her husband.  I like him, a lot actually, but his name is the same as a certain diminutive black sitcom character in the ’80s, and so I always referred to him as that.

I enjoyed my time being the younger brother, being an asshole, and generally doing anything I could to hurt the self-esteem of my sister’s suitors.  It was a fun job, and a job that sometimes I miss.  But I never got to be the older brother.  That’s the one that is supposed to protect, right?  Make sure nothing happens to little sister, make sure little sister never ends up with Tukiluka (or a hot mother fucker just like him).  No, I never got to experience that, at least with my own sister.

Today I will meet Jess’ older brother for the first time.  He’s actually staying with us while he’s in town to visit their mother on her birthday.  So from never even shaking hands to sleeping under the same roof in one fell swoop.  Interesting!  He is her older brother, so I keep accidentally emphasizing that “older” part in my head.  The truth is, thanks to my borderline craddle robbing ways, the guy is only two years older than me.  But in reality, he’s in a completely different world.  He’s got a wife, kids, a career, a house with the obligatory house payments, and family vacation to Disney World later this year.  I have none of that, and frankly, am pretty happy about it.  We’re two years apart, but thanks to my…I dunno…stunted maturity, he seems eons older than me.

I’m not worried about whether he will like me or not. I’m pretty good that way, and people I want to like me usually end up doing just that.  No, what I am worried about is, what if I don’t like him?

The experiment starts in four hours…

Tell me what you think, or do something really silly by visiting the LSP Forums.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 11:47 am. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

6 Responses to “Brothers”